The responsibilities that we take, constrained and forced, are choices, even if they appear constrained and forced. Nothing will ever make me tell you otherwise. We choose. Unconscious or not, forced or not, constrained or not. We don't see alternative, okay. But we choose. A must do or a choice, that comes back to the same. We choose.
Individually, you either chose a difficult life or an easy one. All decisions that you took, even against your will - in appearance only -, were part of the choices that you planned, with your guides and God's approval, before being born.
I know that it is extremely difficult to accept. But it is.
My attempted suicide, for example, was a choice; it was also as consequence of a previous death... by suicide. I had to meet in my life the same conditions that happened before to understand and to accept the life that I had chosen.
For months after my attempted suicide, I only ate dry cookies. I cursed God for what he made me live. I was so selfish that I ended up totally alone. I even thought that happy people, when they laughed, laughed of me. I didn't have friends anymore, nor family members that criticized me the whole time. I was desperately alone. Choices, only choices. All bad. In my mind, everything went in in this avenue: "I blame others for my life and my misery. "
Then, one day, just so that he stops tiring me with his book, I took my father's book "The Amazing Laws of Cosmic Mind Power", and... I put God back in my life. Since that day, I know that we are responsible for all the choices we make, conscious or not, forced or not.
Here is a dream that made me understand this responsibility: "I saw a man digging a hole. At times, the stones that he rejected out of the hole fell again, knocking him on the head. He grumbled, swearing against the stones and fate. He continued without stopping save to blow a little steam to others. He still swore against fate and the stones that fell again. Sometimes, he swore not and he had the impression that on these occasions, the stones hurt less badly."
I understood this: the experiences are not conceived so that humans fall and hurt themselves, but so that we understand and that we soften... to the Divine Will. To do what Jesus did: to adjust his will that of the Father as to become again ONE with God.
Do you understand? We are responsible for all our choices. Nothing is a mistake of circumstances, God or others.
You say that you have all, in your life, except a goal. You have everything, even the goal. It is to recover your divinity. It is everybody's goal on earth. Most are merely ignorant of it. Our goal is to return to the ONE, consciously.
And you, and you? You want that one thinks about you? You want some pleasant responsibilities? It is not a crime. It is human. You, spiritual entity evolving in matter, choose to answer God's desires.
That is a thing that I lived, one day of 1984. I was in deep meditation, under a beautiful sun, when I heard someone tell me, inside me, "Pierre, abandon all your desires."
I immediately opened the eyes, incapable to meditate anymore. How? Abandoning all my desires? But, what will remain in me? If I don't have any desires anymore, what will I do?
Six hours later, after thousands of various thoughts, I understood that IF I ABANDON ALL MY DESIRES, I HAVE THOSE OF GOD.
I chose. I said yes. Since then, I never lacked anything.
It is what I wish for you. God truly answers all our questions and completely fills our needs. If we choose HIM. If we choose HIS desires.